So today I taught interp-dance and I directed a children's play. I was in my element. You should have seen me, alive and charming like that.
Now, I've been riding the "I wanna die" express of unmotivational hell for the last few weeks, but put me in a leadership position where I know I can succeed...BINGO!
I really think that a lot of Megan-ite woe and failure comes from a feeling that I cannot influence things ( you know, right a wrong, get an "A", save a puppy from runaway bus....) When you shut off my success or my chance of success..you essentially shut me off.
I AM drive.
I'm like the kangaroo ( "pouch?" you inquire? Funny but no.). Kangaroos are biologically constructed to exert less energy while leaping and moving quickly then while "walking" or being still. I'm getting exhausted not being in a productive leadership . Being productive is different than having things to do. Being productive means feeling useful and in control.
I think I would probably commit some sort of atrocity of crazy proportions if I get stuck in a non-dominant role for eternity. I mean, look at me now...I'm withering and DYING. I've got bags under my eyes and my favored lover Mr. LeGYM and I haven't had time together for weeks. Oh, LeGYM...how I miss thee.
I guess to sum it up...my passion is to take control and change the world. The world I live in now says I can't even run a Family Home Evening. In fact, the world I live in now suggests that my purpose in life is to be run over. As a result, I am cracking. Like nervous breakdown cracking ( no really). Perhaps if I had a different passion...a different inherent combination of humors, a different education...no wait...I'd still be going insane.
I wonder what I was like in my previous life? I mean, I must've been pretty hard core, with all my current idiosyncrasies (did I dance around in my pre-mortal pajamas singing hits from the pre-mortal top-twenty with my pre-mortal lungs?)which make me currently mysterious and adorable.
HEEE! ( dorky grin...no extra charge).
Also, I agree small dog. I'm in love with the pearl one. Just watch...it'll be sold out when I go to order. Just watch.
Also, FlamingPioneer...where would I find Dialogue?
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