Monday, December 15, 2008

Dear Economy


Dear Economy:

I think that if you full-out crashed this year, it might do a lot more good than harm. I'm not too worried. I've got a scholarship, and while my major isn't particularly lucrative it is governmentally-backed, stable and in demand. I have too much stuff as it is, and I just keep thinking that maybe a nationwide depression would force everyone back to a nice sense of reality. I mean, our hyper-consumerist, materialistic lifestyle was bound to collapse upon itself eventually. Why not now?





Dear Megan:

But people who aren't you depend on me greatly, and whether you think so or not, if you get a family...or a hamster...you are going to have to support people besides yourself and that's where YOUR complete collapse will start to hurt. Since you are an emerging feminist hippie, you understand that all living things are connected. If the price of bananas rises...so will everything else eventually. Don't come crying to me when you have to choose between buying hamster pellets or paying the rent.




Dear Economy:
I would just have to do with fewer conveniences...or fewer bananas. I could make sacrifices for the maintenance of my beloved hamster. I could do as my illustrious grandmother always condones: "Wear it in, Wear it out, Make it do or do without."


Dear Megan:
*picture of emaciated hamster*



Dear Economy:

LEAVE MY HAMSTER ALONE!



Dear Megan:

I *cough* can't. I'm *cough cough* crashing.



Dear Economy:

OK...point taken. So I guess I should probably support your growth..but just so you know my hamster and I would be fine without you. I've got enough clothing, housing and yearly gym memberships to last me through a few years, and by then I'll be getting a government salary. :p



Dear Megan:

You don't even OWN a hamster.




Dear Economy:

Shut up.

1 comment:

That one guy... said...

Dear Megan- I wonder how that hamster feels every time his stomach growls as he looks on your new sandals from his cage...