Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

So, today I was graded on one of my lessons...and my big flaw in the lesson was being too......(violent? cruel? boring? unanimated? ignorant of the subject? quiet? Long winded?....just wait)..............enthusiastic.

"Well, I'll try to tone it down."

"No, really REALLY tone it down."

Anyway, I'm also trying to figure out why my front right tire on Captain Handsome is really really low on air (only been driving it about three weeks). I guess I'll just go fill it up with more air and hope for the best. Anyone know what I can do about it?
Yesterday I went and checked out some books on car repair and maintenance ( "A complete Idiot's Guide (hey...they wrote a book...just for ME!) to Car Repair" and "Dare to Repair:Your Car") Now, the Dare to Repair book has a a big picture of Rosie the Riveter on it...and is supposed to be written especially for women.

I don't really get this.
A: How am I "sticking it to the man" by learning how to fix my car? Do I really need a picture of a slightly angry (mostly determined) propaganda woman on my book? It's not that I mind, but it feels kind of silly that I need the face of determined, barrier breaking, freedom-fighting womanhood...on my car repair book. I think that image deserves a more meaningful place.
B: Are the procedures for fixing a car different for amateur women than for amateur men? Do I really need a separate book for women...I mean, are there different words for "allignment", "motor oil" and "power steering" in womanese than in manish?
I mean, I hope that some misguided men and psychotic poodle women didn't write this for the imaginary women they've created in their heads!
I mean, what's this book gonna be LIKE?

"Turn the cutsie wootsey wittle bolt the left, because, as we always remember 'lefty loosey righty tighty, you look bestest in a nighty.' Then, fill up that adorable car with nummy oil and gas...and make sure to put something cute on the front mirror...dice are sooo nineties...and it really helps if you have a bumper-sticker with your entire family in stick figures on the back, because nothing says "I'm a competent driver" like mock-kindergartener lettering. Also, never EVER go anywhere without lip gloss in the glove compartment...cause, when you break down and some eye-candy comes to rescue you, you'll wanna look cute....needy and cute."

1 comment:

Indecisive said...

Hey, come to think of it, you could have used that "lip gloss in the glove compartment" trick...