Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Straw...

So, for some reason that freaking ring has got me into an angry, frustrated sad place I'd been meaning to visit, but seemed to be avoiding.

I really really really wanted that ring. I had even saved up for it. It was to be my Christmas present TO ME! (I'm so hap-py!)....Now, I know I'm about to whine and be spoiled and childish and irrational...BUT IT'S MY BLOG....I can be as spoiled and childish as I like.


WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I WANT MY FREAKIN RING! IT WAS PERFECT! MY FAVORITE! I WILL NEVER PUT OFF BUYING THINGS I REALLY REALLY WANT AGAIN!.....like a good husband, I may need some time before I start shopping around for a new ring...just because the pain of the old one is fresh. NO FAIR! I WANT IT! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

I actually started tearing up for a second when I found out it was discontinued. I hate my life right now.

Jerkety Jerk online distrubution! I HATE YOU! BLAAAAAHHHHHHH!


Mostly I think this is just a culmination of much anger and frustration I feel about certain issues...but it took the ring to set me off.....WHAT THE HECK! I WAS SOOOO CLOSE....GRRRRRAAAAR! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! AHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! BLAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Expletive!

I think this may also have a lot to do with the fact that my emotions have been wrung out and beaten everyday for the past three or four months. Finally it's coming out! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm at the not so fabulous point where I just want to curl up and never be seen again. Unfortunately I've got this job, and this school, and this surrounded by people and responsibility all the time. I've slowly been cracking...this may be the actual breakdown! I QUIT! IT'S TOO HARD! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHHAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

*Now, I know as well as you that I can't actually quit. I'm way to fabulous...but if I could just curl up in a closet and hide for a week in my own private retreat I would. I want to travel and go back to Europe never have homework again! Grrrrrrrrrr. I know as well as you that a ring is a silly thing to get mad over...but seriously. I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE MAD SOMETIMES! SOME THINGS ARE JUST WRONG! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

There. Now I need to go meditate and forget about the world.

1 comment:

smalldog said...

Sometimes I'd like nothing more than to descend into howling madness because I think it would be awfully restful...and then I remember my own job, my bills, my common sense, and my type A-ness all stand in the way. So sorry you're dissapointed, my dove. Once you've meditated your way out of said deep, dark place I propose to treat you to drinks a Spark to make you feel better. Let me know when you feel the first rays of sunlight penetrating the seething blackness!