Friday, November 21, 2008

Cherishing the little islands of sanity.

So, I showed BasketballGlasses "seriously so blessed" and he loved it. I read it myself for some sad sick laughs, and then BasketballGlasses and I talked about how sick it was that our culture has bred the kind of seriously so blessed monsters we all mock and fear.

"I think that it's probably much worse for girls."

" Well Megan, at least they aren't the ones hitting on you."

And you know what, BasketballGlasses has a point. I really respect BasketballGlasses. He's a cool dude. It must be hard to have to sort through the tubs of marshmallow fluff in order to find an honest-to-goodness unindoctrinated individual. You poor guys. I just have to live with them, but you have to marry them. So sorry dudes. I'd fix the insanity if I could.

There was also a slight twang of guilt upon discovering that I, perhaps, speak and write more like "Seriously So Blessed" than I'd like to admit. However, my thoughts are so mine. "Seriously So Blessed" would promptly throw sharp ( yet adorably serrated) scrapbooking scissors at me if she could read my mind. (Note: I am aware that the "name" of the "writer" of that blog is not the blog's name itself. I just don't remember the individual's "name" right now.)

So, yesterday I went to a 2:30 AM showing of "Twilight". Now, let me just say that I am not a huge fan of the books. I have only read one ( as social insurance), and I'm not particularly invested in either Jacob Black or Edward Cullen....until now. Now, maybe it was the fact that I was DEAD exhausted, as well as emotionally drained and recently inhibition liberated, but MAN...that movie did things to me. I squeeled. I screamed. I "awwwed". I fell in love with Edward Cullin ( who I didn't think was all that attractive in the previews...but have since repented). I was very excited, my breathing heavy, my body on fire for a good three hours. Which brings me to a very serious, and seldom discussed topic.

My sexuality.
I've got one. It's pretty cool.

I'm going to admit that I was really turned on by that film. I was giddly and uncomfotably comfortable. I really wanted to be with someone right then.
"Twilight" was a parade of beautiful men on a scree, who were talented, flawless, emotionally available and powerful yet trustworthy and protective. These traits are the very traits, I believe, that all people (male or female, of any sexual orientation) want in their partners. These are the traits a geisha was prized for- the complete human attractive.
"Protective?", I hear some ask, confused that I would refer to geisha in such a way. Yes. There is a female style of protective, the kind that you ran to your Mom for, and she would hold you on her lap, run her fingers through your hair and tell you that everything is going to be alright, before shoving the bad neighbor kids out the door, and giving you a warm muffin and milk.
Imagine how comfortable it would be for a japanese ceo, just back from a terrible business meeting, and in need of some female "protective" power from the mean world outside.
"It's ok Mr. Kawasaki. Yamamoto Whiskey's stocks will rise in the holiday season, and you can just stay here with me until your business partners take the train back to Kobe in the morning."

Now, I'm gonna bust out some Joseph Campbell on you.

Essentially we all want our entire spread of relationships in life. We all want a Mother,a Father, a Sister, a Brother, a Daughter and a Son and Spouse ( Lover)- type relationships in life. These are archetypes. Our relationships with Diety are often very fulfilling because Diety allow us to use them in all of these contexts. Jesus Christ is Our Father, Our Brother, and he is the "Groom" ( noting all sorts of biblical references and the Oh, so popular song by Cherie Call "He gives flowers to everyone), and Our Son ( ya, we LOVE to sing about "the poor baby Jesus asleep on the hay". There's the Forgotten Carol's Christmas Song about a childless woman's experience with Christ called "Mary Let me hold her baby." The baby Jesus is kind of a cultural subconscious obsession, but he let's us think of him that way at times...mostly cause I think he's a nice guy, and lets us use him to fill our needs without zapping us. Dieties rock at that.)

Now the real trick is that we should all be like Christ in being able to fill all these roles people need in their lives. That's why Edward Cullin and the other vampires, besides being straight up biologically good looking ( the lover relationship being mostly about physical attraction and gratification), are also vulnerable ( sons and daughters), personable and relatable ( brothers and sisters), and all powerful and protective ( Mothers and Fathers). They're freaking perfect. Filling all those roles gives the person you fill those roles for a definite desire to worship you.

Which brings me to two little musings.
Is there a place for emotional stimulation like the film "Twilight" in marriages? I couldn't help but think how great it would be for me and my husband if I had THAT kind of aphrodisiac hanging around the DVD collection.

I am often very VERY careful about my use of sexuality, mostly because I would feel very guilty about using someone for strictly physical purposes. There have been days, just like every other human being on the planet, when I have seriously thought of calling up InsertNameHere and putting my drama training to good work to get a little physical frustration out of the way. Frankly,however, I can only imagine how that person would feel and I would never do that to someone. I think that's awful, but then again, in a marriage, sexual activity is more of bonding activity than anything, and is probably used for the emotional and physical benefit of both couples, and not necessarily for overwhelming senses of commitment and passion. I would imagine it being completely legit for a married couple, after a long day of school, work and chores to decide to have sex to help each other calm down, get a high and feel better.
In that context, perhaps I shouldn't be so overly careful about who I share physical affection with. If I would never marry someone, but still appreciate and value them, and if we both would value-theoretically why not hug and kiss a little? ( Now before everyone FREAKS OUT...these are just my musings on the logic of the subject. I think that making out with strangers or people you are not in a relationship with to be very distasteful, and that opinion probably won't change. This is mostly just to open discussion.)

Also, tomorrow I am going to the Ute Game in Salt Lake ( 300 and something dollar ticket...MINE! Bwahahahahaha.) All I have to do if find a way to get down there. I'm going to try the bus/train approach but SincerityPersonified may or may not just drive me up there tomorrow morning. I'm really crossing my fingers for that option.

1 comment:

Pinto said...

First: Married be do do that whole "just to calm each other down and relax and bond" thing.

Second: I think the tricky thing about sexuality is that it only really takes on the type of comfort/mutuality that you are describing when each person has already developed a full emotional, mental, spiritual connection with the other. Otherwise, it will always be hollow. Always. Always always always. This I know to be true. There is no substitute for the whole love.