Tuesday, February 17, 2009

AH! THE NICENESS! CAN'T...BE...ANGRY....

Blows and abuse
I can take and give back again,
Tenderness I cannot bear!
-Aldonza in The Man of La Mancha


Dear Universe,

I can't find my 50 dollar leather gloves! I hate the world! ( collapses dramatically, shielding my face)

Megan



Dear Megan,

They're right there.


The Universe




Dear Universe:

Oh...um. Well I got an 83 on my Math test and I can't find my USB cord and I am so ridiculously busy I can't breath! (collapses dramatically and makes pathetic sobbing noises while pouring ashes on her head)

Yours resignedly doomed,
Megan


Dear Megan:

You teacher just gave you back 35 extra points, which puts you back to an A. Your USB cord is right there...where you left it and if you WOULD STOP WRITING ON THIS STINKING BLOG you'd have at least a few more hours to burn. Also, you are starting to take 15 minute meditation breaks during work, and you go to bed early. You're actually developing the coveted "chill" factor that most people don't develop until they're parents of seven children. Congrats on being ahead of the curve. Not to mention, you live in a comfortable apartment with heating, a pantry full of food, a gym membership, a scholarship, a closet full of clothes and a moderately dependable bank account. Also you can vote, and you have been signed up for three blind dates in the past week, plus one perfectly decent regular one. You have enough time for a nap and a blog...so shut up.

The Universe



Dear Universe:

I....I hate you.


Love,
Megan



Dear Megan:

You'll be alright Megan. That hairshirt didn't look that great on you anyway.

The Universe

2 comments:

That one guy... said...

You truly inspire me. I wish my blog were as cool as yours. I'm envious...

smalldog said...

Margot, you are easily one of the coolest people in the world.