Thursday, January 22, 2009

Disappointments



"This is crazy defeatist talk-"
-Eva Peron in the musical "Evita"



I am drinking soy milk straight from the carton. I can't tell if I'm a red-neck or an elitist. I can tell that I am severely put off.

I don't think that BYU is going to let me keep my New Zealand job...for no actual reason that I can deduce. Apparently they don't like ( by "don't like" they mean "CRUSH ANY HOPE OF AND SET THE FRAGMENTS AFLAME") to allow students one extra semester before graduation to get ESL minors, teach in New Zealand and get an internships.

Because then, heaven forbid, people might actually graduate with valuable skills.

They strictly shut you down because they desire all students to complete the exact same...rather unstellar...program together to maintain the "integrity of the program". What ever happened to working with students to get as much success out of them as possible? I have done all the math. I have done all the work. It is NOT a difficult thing at all. In fact, really, everyone can only benefit from my participation in these three programs, including my future students. Give me a program with my interests at heart. THAT, my friends, is a program with integrity. Elementary Education majors here don't really get the "options". They don't think we want a stellar career. They think that we want a degree...and if necessary...a mediocre career. I am tired of fighting.
WHAT IS GOING ON!?
I have started expecting things to be disappointing despairfests. I will have plenty of angst to use when I write my first children's book- "Megan's awful, no good, very bad semester." It'll be a hit.
Come on Universe! Don't destroy me now. I'm too young, driven and beautiful to be crushed with demands of mediocrity! HELP!
I've decided to encapsulate my rage in the form of the above posted image. It comes from one of the more tragic, dark, romances told in the Decameron-namely that of Isabelle and Lorenzo; two Spanish lovers whose affairs are foiled when Lorenzo is murdered by Isabelle's snobbish brothers. Isabelle, who is completely out of her orbit with love, as most romantic protagonists are, keeps Lorenzo's decapitated head in a jar and grows a Basil plant in it...which she then waters with her tears...or something disturbingly unnatural like that.
I have witnessed the murder of my entire awesome career ( Universe...my karma compensation had better be good. Real good.) but I shall try to get some basil out of it. Hey, it's my right to be pathetic. El Ed Program Managers wouldn't have it any other way....believe me, I've tried.

4 comments:

That one guy... said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
That one guy... said...

Sooo wait a minute... You expected your Ele Ed program managers to be preparing you for a CAREER instead of getting you ready to better teach your massive brood of children in home school to better shield them from the horrors of worldly public education? You expected this at byu? ha HA Ha HA hA!!!!!! Oh man, I can always count on you for a laugh!

Pinto said...

Personally, I think I like this one better: http://www.metmuseum.org/special/Americans_in_Paris/obj.asp?gal=5&i=4&c=L?zoomFlag=1

I saw it in Boston with Dad when I first started my program...
(aka, it's okay. Just keep going and don't give up on what you want to do. Someday you'll be in your "Boston" regardless of the craziness of the world. Maybe you could keep trying. Tell them what you just wrote? If nothing changes then...then go to Columbia, right?)

Pinto said...

Um, if that link doesn't work, just look up John White Alexander's "Isabella and the Pot of Basil" (1897)